Recognising a Child in the Netherlands: Erkenning and Joint Authority for Unmarried Parents

Prices, fees and rules in this article were checked on 29 October 2026. They can change, so check the linked pages before you decide.

Short answer: If you are not married to the mother and not in a registered partnership with her, recognising the child (erkenning) is the usual route to legal parenthood. Adoption or a court determination can also establish legal parenthood. You can do this at any Dutch municipality, before the birth, at the birth registration or later, and the recognition itself is free (checked 29 October 2026, can change). Since 1 January 2023, recognising a child also gives you joint parental authority (gezag) with the mother automatically in most cases. Exceptions apply, including when you both declare at recognition that the mother will retain sole authority. These rules come from Rijksoverheid.

Many couples in the Netherlands live together without marrying. For international couples, the legal side of becoming parents can be confusing: biological parenthood, legal parenthood and parental authority are three different things under Dutch law. This guide explains what unmarried parents need to arrange, and when.

1. Who needs to recognise a child?

Source: Rijksoverheid pages on recognition and parental authority, checked 29 October 2026. Rules can change.

According to Rijksoverheid, a married or registered partner of the mother becomes the legal parent automatically. For two married or registered women, the second mother (duomoeder) becomes the legal parent automatically if an unknown donor was used under the law; if the donor is known, the second mother can recognise the child. If you are unmarried, recognition is the step that makes you a legal parent.

2. When and where you can do it

Rijksoverheid lists three moments:

• Before the birth. This is called recognition of the unborn child (erkenning van de ongeboren vrucht).
• During the birth registration (aangifte van geboorte) at the municipality.
• At a later moment, for example when the child is already older.

You can recognise the child at any municipality in the Netherlands; it does not have to be where you live. The civil registrar (ambtenaar van de burgerlijke stand) draws up the deed of recognition. The recognition is free. If you want a copy of the deed (afschrift), the municipality charges a fee and can tell you the amount (checked 29 October 2026, can change).

Recognising before the birth means the legal position is settled from the moment the child is born. If you are expecting, our pregnancy in the Netherlands guide covers the medical and practical side, and our guide to maternity, partner and parental leave explains the leave rules for the person who recognises the child.

3. Consent rules by age

Recognition needs consent, and who must agree depends on the child’s age. From Rijksoverheid:

Checked 29 October 2026. Rules can change.

If the mother refuses consent, Rijksoverheid notes that the partner can try to recognise the child through the court.

4. Joint parental authority since 2023

Legal parenthood and parental authority are not the same. Parental authority (ouderlijk gezag) is the right and duty to make decisions for your child. Since 1 January 2023, unmarried and unregistered partners who recognise their child automatically get joint authority with the mother and no longer need to apply to the court, according to Rijksoverheid.

Rijksoverheid lists situations where authority matters in practice:

• Registering a change of address for the child
• Applying for a passport or ID card for the child
• Travelling abroad with a minor
• Enrolling the child at school or childcare
• Medical decisions
• Correct calculation of benefits
• What happens if a parent with authority dies

There are conditions. Conditions for parental authority include age and capacity requirements. A mental disorder is relevant where it prevents the person from exercising parental authority; a diagnosis alone does not establish that incapacity. See Rechtspraak’s conditions and exceptions, including rules for minors and curatele. Rijksoverheid also notes that there are exceptions to automatic joint authority and refers to Rechtspraak.nl for them, so check that page if your situation is unusual. For the passport side, see our guide to Dutch passport and ID card fees and renewal.

5. If you do not want joint authority

Parents can choose not to have joint authority after recognition. According to Rijksoverheid, you make an appointment with the municipality and both of you make a declaration that you do not want joint authority. The mother then has sole authority. A partner who recognises the child without having authority is still a legal parent and must contribute to the costs of raising the child.

6. Children recognised before 2023

The automatic rule does not apply backwards. If the child was recognised before 1 January 2023, the parents must arrange joint authority themselves. Rijksoverheid notes this also applies if the child was recognised before 2023 but born after 1 January 2023. Parents request it together using the form on Rechtspraak.nl. One of the conditions is that you have not had joint authority over the child before (Rijksoverheid product description).

7. Choosing the surname

For unmarried parents, the surname is linked to recognition. Rijksoverheid explains:

• If no choice is made, the child gets the mother’s surname.
• Parents may also choose a combination of both parents’ surnames. Check the applicable conditions and record the choice with the civil registry.
• If the father or second mother wants the child to have their surname, the choice is made during recognition.
• Both parents must be present at the civil registry. One parent cannot choose alone, and the choice cannot be made in writing. The choice is free.
• The surname you choose for your first child together applies to all later children.

Children with another nationality may have other options; Rijksoverheid’s surname page explains these.

8. Pre-birth checklist for unmarried parents

1. Decide together whether you will recognise before the birth.
2. Agree on the child’s surname, because it is chosen at recognition.
3. Book an appointment with any municipality’s civil registry.
4. Ask the municipality which ID and documents to bring, especially if you have foreign documents; bring the mother’s written consent if she cannot attend.
5. Decide whether you want joint authority (the default) or will make a declaration that you do not.
6. Order a copy of the deed if you need it (fee set by the municipality).
7. After the birth, register the birth with the municipality.

9. FAQ

Does recognising a child cost money?

No. The recognition is free; only a copy of the deed costs money (checked 29 October 2026, can change).

We recognised our child in 2022. Do we have joint authority?

Not automatically. For recognitions before 1 January 2023, parents must request joint authority together via Rechtspraak.nl.

Can I recognise a child if I am not the biological father?

Rijksoverheid describes the condition in terms of legal status: you can recognise a child if you are not already its legal parent, with the required consent. A stepparent may be able to recognise a child if the child does not already have two legal parents and the other recognition requirements are met. Sole parental authority by the partner is not sufficient by itself. Check Rijksoverheid’s recognition conditions, especially for foreign or dual nationality.

Do we need to be registered in the same municipality?

No. Recognition can be done at any municipality in the Netherlands.

Is this relevant if we plan to marry?

A male spouse or registered partner is normally a legal parent automatically. For a female spouse or registered partner, automatic legal parenthood depends on the donor situation and required declaration; with a known donor, recognition or adoption may be needed. See our guide to getting married in the Netherlands.

🇳🇱 Dutch Corner

Sources

• Rijksoverheid: Wanneer en waar kan ik mijn kind erkennen? (timing, any municipality, consent by age, free; checked 29 Oct 2026)
• Rijksoverheid: Gezamenlijk gezag door erkenning vanaf 2023
• Rijksoverheid: Wanneer krijg ik automatisch gezag over een kind?
• Rijksoverheid: Erkenning zonder gezamenlijk gezag
• Rijksoverheid: Aanvragen gezamenlijk gezag door 2 ouders
• Rijksoverheid: Achternaam kind kiezen